Define free
It sucks to be Kurt Hummel, not because he’s the guy who gets bullied in school. That’s nothing. It sucks to be Kurt because of a guy named Blaine. Sure, Blaine might be so into him right now but it’s only because Blaine hasn’t explored all of his own gayness yet. One day, he’ll leave Kurt because Kurt is too much of a “fag.” After all, he’s gay because he likes guys, not a guy who acts like a girl.
Kurt will grow up to be a Streisand-quoting flamer while Blaine will come to realize that he enjoys bottoming for indie bands’ lead singers. He’ll realize that he’s uber-cute and will start to work out a lot to enhance his attractiveness. At the gym, he will meet plenty of half-naked demigods who will seduce him. And he will be seduced. He’s young, he needs to experiment, he has to and will be free—free from the chains of one Kurt Hummel, who’s sitting at home, foolishly thinking that the boy of his dreams is constantly dreaming of him as well.
When he finds out—if he ever will, because chances are, Blaine will break if off with him before he even gets the slightest clue—it will be devastating. He will turn to the Madonnas, the Barbras, the Chers, the Mariahs, the Gagas and the Christinas of this world for comfort. He will begin to doubt himself, question his truths and be confronted by the garish fact that he’s not man enough for a guy like Blaine.
Blaine, on the other hand, will quickly forget about Kurt and categorize him as a phase. His requirements in dating guys are in the process of being polished. He’s figuring out what he really wants in a relationship. But he hasn’t figured it all out yet. But hey, he’s young. There’s no hurry. Until then, he’ll do what he knows. For now, he’ll continue to hook up with random guys he meets at school, in bars and clubs, at the gym, at concerts, at bookstores, on the Internet, at coffee shops, on the street. He’ll go through more phases and will keep on deferring being in a relationship. For now, he’ll be free.
Meanwhile, Kurt will still be Kurt. He’s still going to be awkward. He’ll move on, but he’ll be more cautious next time. He still doubts himself, and he will doubt every other guy he’ll meet. Trust will be elusive for young Kurt. But just like a lot of other Kurts out there, he will stay true to himself. He will continue to play the role of screaming fag. Perhaps, he will even get more feminine.
You might find him at a drag show a few years from now, belting out Streisand tunes, complete with hair and makeup. He’ll come to deduce that relationships are not for him. He has to be on the stage, where he belongs. That’s where he’s most free.
(The preceding text is a commentary on contemporary gay culture and doesn’t describe actual events, past or present. It’s a study of cause-and-effect, stereotypes, possibilities, choices and how all these define one’s existence and place in the world. It’s a narrative that’s subject to interpretation, speculation and debate.)
